Archive for the ‘University Life’ Category

JK Rowling’s speech

This is going to be the longest entry ever… and it’s not written by me wtf. Got this speech about graduation from an email a while ago.  You are not obligated to read this wtf

K. Rowling, author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series, delivers her Commencement Address, “The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination,” at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association.

Text as delivered follows.
Copyright of JK Rowling, June 2008


President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world’s largest Gryffindor reunion.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, the law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step to self improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that have expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These may seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that would never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension. I know that the irony strikes with the force of a cartoon anvil, now.

So they hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all the subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.

So given a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

Now you might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I personally will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working at the African research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to speak against their governments. Visitors to our offices included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had left behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him back to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just had to give him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard, and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:
As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.
I wish you all very good lives.
Thank you very much.

Thank you too! wtf

nil preparation

After one month of slacking at home and doing nothing productive… I’m STILL not prepared for symposium, awesome. FML.

Wish me luck tmr cause I’m definitely gonna need it >____>

Graduation Night

I find it scary that I no longer need to go back to uni anymore, classes are done, exams are done, assignments are done, thesis is done, library membership gonna expire soon, can’t borrow anything from there. The only reason I would go back is just to visit lecturers or maybe the occasional symposiums or speeches.

Yesterday I attended my last graduation dinner, and I think the graduating batches really went all out to looking totally awesome for the night! :D I totally couldn’t recognize almost all of the batch 6 girls because they look so different! I only noticed it is them because Richard was standing over there wtf. And of course the ladies of my class who also looked totally awesome, actually I don’t think I need to say that because I think they know already wtf.

I dare you to look at the background only wtf

Why are we so cool wtf (Taken from Suwoan’s album)
I have videos of Dr Teoh singing, is it ethical for me to post it on youtube ? :p

After the event we went to Opera for a round of drinks, as I walked out from the ballroom to get my car, it suddenly dawned on me that;  this is it, the many faces that I have met throughout the past few years, I won’t be seeing them anymore anytime soon. To be honest I felt like I was caught off guard, it all happened so suddenly and I felt the sudden rush of thoughts telling me, the time has come for me to move on to the next chapter of my life. And for the rest of the night I was in a way, emotionally stunted. Nothing happening around me seems to feel the same anymore, I had a lot on my mind and being in a noisy and crowded club didn’t seem to help much, so I took some time to just walk around pyramid alone.

While I was walking and being in the midst of so many unfamiliar faces, I felt a strange sense of satisfaction, because I felt like this is the way life is telling me, ‘this is going to be the new chapter of your life’, for you will see many new faces and not all of them will be like the great people I have met so far in my life. There will be people from all kinds of backgrounds, all kinds of intentions, all with different goals in life; they are not university students studying psychology anymore. In a way,  I realized that I must prepare myself to really get out of my comfort zone be really independent and assertive,  my life will no longer be shaped by a course outline, and I will have to make many important decisions that will ultimately create a place for me in this world. So yeah… this is me, being a thinker like always. I’m not sure whether what I’m saying makes sense to most people, because I think I have a very weird wavelength when it comes to thinking.

Anyway, see some of u all during our convocation! :))

3…2…1… saman

U know how ur profile picture on msn has this colored border which indicates whether you’re busy, available or away? I just noticed I’ve never seen mine in green!  :D

Yeap, exams are finally over, and so is my degree, at last after three long years I’ve finally finished my undergraduate course. I won’t say exactly ‘time-flies’ because come to think of it, it’s been a very long journey. How I wish I can recall perfectly how the first day of orientation was like, with all of us not knowing each other, it would be funny if we can observe how we behaved on the first few days, and compare it to now..

On the first day of orientation, as we entered the class, Suet  was sitting on the second row 2nd table from the left, she was listening to her headphones so I didn’t saw her face wtf. There was an African girl sleeping on the first row the seat furthest to the left. And Crz was sitting on the 3rd row also the furthest on the left, and then I sat next to him, behind me was Junior. And if i’m not mistaken the tall Indian girl sat at the last row wtf. When Sheryl walked in I rmb thinking to myself  “YES got pretty chicks!” wtf.

I remember on the second day of the orientation, we were supposed to wait in front of the information centre before Ms Woo took us around the college to show us where the library is at. I remember as we were waiting on the benches, Rachel was the first to talk to me and she was wearing a pink top and jeans wtf freaky i know. All of us saw the free Star newspapers and me, crz and rach went to get the newspapers at the same time after knowing its free wtf. And I also remembered how when we first wanted to get our computer lab passwords, we need to print a form with our username and password on it, there was around 4~5 of us there. And I remembered one of us had problem printing the form, and all of us stayed to help out! Can’t remember who it was exactly. And I can still recall the table we sat at the first time we went to Medan, it was a round table plus a square table. I especially liked the long breaks we took in our first classroom, because Dr Tam was so nice we used to take really long breaks :p

Ahh the life in first year, how stress-free, how innocent wtf Look at what journals have done to me wtf

So today, we went back to college to participate in a survey for final year students, and being the stingy shit that I am, I parked outside college just to save 2 bucks. And by the time I went to get my car, there’s a bloody ticket on my windshield. Well in my defence, the yellow line has faded away pretty significantly and it’s so hard to notice it especially when the sun is shining so brightly zzz. But anyway, I guess all the times I parked at the industry areas sort of covers back the 80 bucks saman, fml zzz, what a way to start my unemployed life. According to horoscope, tmr is my lucky day, so hopefully tmr at the MPSJ officec I get to bump into an incredibly hawt chick who just got her first saman like me and then when we complain to each other about how unfair life is, we will fall in love with each other and live happily ever after wtf.

And this is how our baby will look like, coz we r both angry and life is unfair wtf

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

The final exam of my degree course is next Monday at 9am to 12pm! Just 3 more days! Just to vaguely describe how it feels like, refer to the video below wtf.

The countdown begins!! :O

Epilogue

We’re finally done with our thesis! We handed in the last hardcover thesis as well as the CD last week! Ahhhh the sweet smell of freedom…….. or is that my doggie’s smell wtf She haven’t bath for almost a week now wtf

I want to thank the many many people who helped me collect my dataaaaa, just to name a few: SuWoan, Adam, Darren, Sheryl, Emily, Linda, Caryn, Michelle, Crystal, Wilson, Me wtf, Isabella, Angela, Minyi, and I’m quite sure I missed out somebody sorry if I missed you out har har wtf.

My Biggest, Deepest, Most Heartfelt thanks goes to none other than my supervisor Ms Grace Yap who:

  1. Encouraged me to do a thesis topic of my own interest
  2. Told me where to get subjects
  3. Vomited blood just by looking at my work
  4. Took time to reply my questions no matter how busy she was
  5. Vomited more blood by pointing out my grammar errors
  6. Layan me whenever I barged into her office without making appointments wtf

Thanks Youuuuuuuuuuu : D

To the bitch

No I’m not referring to anyone, I’m refering to that bitch-of-a-thesis

Pictured: Not the kind of bitch I’m refering to, but damn cute rite wtf? Datin Khoo this a Corgi that i mentioned, damn cute can make a grown man cry wtf if i ever have the chance to get a new dog I’m so gonna get a Corgi best creation of God evaaaaaa wtf HERE‘s a link to a cutest thing ever on the face of the planet, oh don’t worry I still love my dog too wtf

Where was I wtf, right the thesis bitch.

Yeap, after a gruesome and stressful 10 months of soul-draining, heart-attack inducing, seizure triggering, blood pressure increasing, emotionally torturing journey later, my thesis is finally over and done with!

Thesis seriously took away a lot of my time, I’m the kind of person who can’t really enjoy going out until I’m really free from assignments. I remember my friends used to ask me out to CC but I always have to reject them because of the guilt, and now they don’t ask me anymore wtf. And I’m the kind of person who needs a long time to get into the mood of doing assignments, if I were to go out and have fun I will mess up this ‘routine’ that I have before I start my work, the routine usually goes something like:

  1. Facebook (eg: RC/Tycoons/Friend’s links/photos
  2. Check mail
  3. Read the Star
  4. Read Daily Chilli
  5. Watch some webcomics
  6. Read Timothy Tiah and fourfeetnine (which is kind of odd because I only read those 2 blogs and they just happen to be a couple)
  7. Facebook again
  8. Play 5 min online game
  9. Check mail again
  10. The ‘oh-I-wonder-where-this-link-goes’ moments
  11. Listen to Taylor Swift
  12. Youtube for L4D2 videos wtf
  13. Facebook… like… again…
  14. Taylor Swift twitter
  15. Pat the dog
  16. Taylor Swift songs again
  17. Time to do some work, right after lunch wtf

*after lunch*

  1. Repeat half of the list above
  2. Cry in a corner from guilt
  3. Start work!
  4. Forgot to turn off msn, can’t be rude and not reply right?
  5. Oh shit bed time

Yeah that’s about it, guess why I’m interested in internet addiction wtf. As you can see I need to allocate a lot of time just to do small amount of work so for the past 10 months life has been more or less like this wtf.

A random moment of me doing thesis, doggie half-asleep with her head stuck in between the grail, she can be so cute sometimes =)

Now that thesis is over, I feel like we are another step closer to graduating already! To all 5th batch students, we only got 5 weeks left together! Can you believe it? It’s just 5 weeks, and we only have classes twice a week, which means 10 more days of classes only! That’s like less than 2 weeks! oh how I’m gonna miss going to classes. But I guess we’re all growing up and we can’t stay in this stage forever =) Gosh it’s not even the end of our sem yet I’m already thinking 5 weeks ahead, we r so gonna party once our semester is done! And we haven’t even plan our graduation trip! We got plenty of work to do :P

p/s: I actually wanted to make a dramatic break up entry with my thesis but given the circumstance of recent events I think it wouldn’t really be funny anymore wtf

paranoia maxima

I am currently quadruple checking my thesis from top to bottom and left to right and inside out, whether its spelling mistakes, formating, APA, content, decimals, 1/2 inch spacings, 3.81 cm, 2.54cm, 3.17cm, margins, headings, page numbers, font format, appendix, labels…

Maybe this is how it feels like to have a baby that is almost due, paranoia devours u and u keep checking every single thing like how u would when the baby is going to arrive wtf.

I hereby declare this is the most paranoid moment of my entire academic life as of my 20 years of life wtf.

DIE THESIS DIE

Oh look! A Crab!

I’m so bored I almost gave it a name

To be continued … no, not the story of the crab, to be continued until thesis is less of a bitch

Job hazzards

Apparently my internship comes with a job hazard that I totally did not foresaw when I decided to work at where I am now.

For the past whole month I’ve been working there, there have been many clients coming in and out of the centre. And I suppose some of them brought some unwanted stuffs with them when they came out from prison, some kind of skin prob that makes ppl’s skin VERY itchy!

Now I have very bad rashes in most parts of my body and I’m using medicated soaps and talc powders to ease the itchiness X_X

So if u see me scratching myself please pardon me wtf *scratch scratch*